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I told her about Mary’s visit, showed her the stuff she had brought and after a short discussion about weapons designed to cause less harm than guns, I walked into the bathroom to take a well-needed shower. I stood in the shower and repeated the words my friend had told me. It really did seem incredible, even ridiculous, that thinking ‘I’m strong’ would make you strong. But then again, the opposite, thinking that you were weak, seemed logically connected to feeling weak, so why was the power of thinking good things so much harder to believe in? I washed up, remembering far too late that I’d been instructed not to shower for a handful of days. I muttered a few curses, stepped out, dried off and got dressed in the clothes that were all a surprisingly good fit. There was no need for makeup, so after tucking the phone, the stun gun and the rest of my pitifully few possessions in my jeans and quickly brushing my hair, I was ready for our next stop on our way to Mary’s place. We rode in. And now I had two weeks off to enjoy it, God what gets into me sometimes, I will never know.As I got out of the subway I was cautious. I didn’t see any women in white or any limos. Although I knew I was safe, I was still a little shaken as I took a seat at the bar and ordered a much needed scotch. Two or three later I began to think about what had happened. Had I over-reacted? She was right, she was only offering me what I had asked for? Whatever I felt tomorrow, I can’t think about emailing her. I felt a little bad for running away, but still, it would be foolish to get in contact with her again, under any circumstances. She probably wouldn’t write back anyway.--The Next Morning—I treated myself to a brunch at a nice midtown caf? and read the paper. Nothing seemed interesting, it all seemed? rather boring. The city was in neutral, it was 10am and most everyone was already at work. I felt, I felt bored quite frankly Not just bored, I was sort of depressed. What had.
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